Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I am.
They say that time heals all wounds.
I'm not sure I believe them.
In this moment, it seems this wound is too big to heal. Every tentatively formed scab rips off, exposing the pus-filled pain beneath. Anger. Envy. Sorrow. Bitterness. Doubt.
Drowning in tears and drowning again. Hurricanes and steady rains but always always tears and sadness and pain and questions.
How long, O Lord?
Too long. Too much.
The sun comes out.
The pain numbs, subsides. Dull throbbing always there. Slow leak of salt from eyes.
But a smile to the world, always a smile. Hiding a hurt that no one knows. Smile, wipe eyes. Blame allergies--it's fall, after all.
They say the physical act of smiling can make you feel happy, can release endorphins. Drugs from the brain for the wounds of the heart.
I'm not sure I believe them.
Find the rainbow in the rain.
Linked up with Heather of The EO's Just Write, a weekly exercise in free writing ordinary and extra-ordinary moments.
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thank you for pouring out your heart. may you find peace in the writing and the wrestling.
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