Wednesday, August 15, 2012

I am running out of steam.

No outfit post this week. Again. I've been terrible at taking pictures lately.

Do you know that feeling of having a lot going on, and yet never seeming to get anything done?

That's where I am now.

I seem to have appointments or meetings or events every day of the week. Multiple activities per day, even. I'm always checking something off some to-do list or another.

And yet.

The nursery still looks like this.

More sanding yet to do before staining and sealing.
And it would be nice to paint the walls at some point.
And move furniture in.
Which means the room across from it still looks like this.

And honestly, much of the rest of the house doesn't look much better. Every time one place gets cleaned up and improved, something happens and a different place explodes. We still have carpet and carpet padding on the front porch, because the DDH can't figure out what to do with it. He promised he would take it to the dumpster Sunday, and so I emptied out the back of my now there's carpet on the front porch and my trunk organizer and spare grocery bags in the living room. Yay.

And of course the house is being inspected on Friday and the inspector has to take pictures of it inside and out. How he's supposed to do that when he can't even walk into one of the rooms and about half the doors in the house are off their hinges, I'm not entirely sure.

I have epic plans but I'm running out of time and energy to complete them. Work has been stressful and busy and I come home exhausted.

How, exactly, am I supposed to do all this and manage a baby, too?

Admittedly a lot of what I'm doing right now is organizing things so life will be easier once T-Rex is here.

Still, I do not understand how people work when they have baby-sized children. I am dreading it, and the dreading and anxiety and fear are draining me. I am throwing an incessant internal temper tantrum about The Way Life Is and can't seem to find peace about any of it.


On the other hand, I did the little orientation tour at the hospital on Monday and saw the Labor and Delivery Ward, the delivery rooms and post-partum rooms. It's a small hospital in a new building. All the nurses seemed friendly; the rooms were large and clean and not too hospital-y.

You're allowed to move around and use the shower and they have birthing balls for you (all assuming a lack of other complications and the permission of your doctor, of course). They let you hold the critter before weighing and testing him (in the room) and then give him right back for skin-to-skin and nursing. There are lactation consultants you're welcome to use as much as you like. They do rooming-in unless he needs to be NICUified so you can chill together and nurse on demand.

It seems like a good environment, though what do I know, really. The DDH and I have their childbirth class next month and breastfeeding classes in October.

November is starting to feel awfully close.


  1. November is far away, and also super close! I totally understand the feeling of doing tons of stuff and getting nothing done. Yesterday was an amazingly productive day, and by the time JM got home from work I was just depressed about all the things I had to do still and he was confused because I'd already done so many things. *sigh*

    I'm going to Joann's in the next week or so to get fabric for your baby things! I made a tiny scale diaper bag out of paper I found in my recycling bin, tape, and a sharpie to draw on pockets so I can get an idea of how much material I need. It's gonna be awesome!

  2. Oh, I can so relate! Does it make you feel any better to know that most pregnant women feel the exact same way at some point. Hang in there, somehow it all comes together - maybe not the way we picture it, but it works nonetheless.